I Sucked On Jesus' Penis... Again

Anyone worried they will burn in Hell just for reading today's blasphemous blather, you are excused, 'cuz it's about to get all real up in here, man!

I will now allow some time for those of you who wish to maintain your place in the Heaven express line to click over to one of your favourite rainbows, puppies, & kisses blogs..............

 

 

Okay, the rest of you who are obviously unconcerned about your mortal souls -- let's get on with the corruption. 

 

Pictured @ right, thai stick. Looks a little cigar shaped, eh? 

Hey, I think that's what Clinton said to Monica... 

Didn't Clinton claim not to have actually inhaled? 

Umm,  yeeaaah right. 

But let's try to stay on track here.

 

So this one time? At band camp?* 

Venom & posse hook up with The Riddler who lays out his wares...

"Sooo, I got here the Maui Wowie, the Thai Stick, the Super Bee, the Outdoor Experience, and the Jesus' Penis. What'll it be Venom?"

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait, WAITaminute...... Riddler, man, you have WHAT?"

"Fuckin' Venom... Bitch, I would just once like to have you just fuckin' shop without all your..."

"Riddler. Man. Did you say you have JESUS' PENIS? WHERE, man? 'Cuz I don't SEE it."  

 

Picture me & my crew dissolving into laughter at this point. 

All except The Riddler that is -- picture The Riddler looking pained.

His own fault really. 

I mean, seriously, that's a pretty big claim to make.

"Oh I totally want that last one, man. Gimme. The Jesus'. Penis, OH YEAH!"  

Said with conviction amidst much stoner giggling & obscene pelvic gyrations from my too easily influenced friends.

"The price just went up $5. for you Venom."

"That's just bad marketing, man. You gotta ask yourself Riddler... 'What Would Jesus Do?' "

"Make it an extra $10. Keep talking & it's going up another $15."

"Fine. You, sir, are a filthy profiteer."

On the way home we swung into the parking lot of the nearest Kingdom Hall and left a note written on a ZigZag that said simply, 'Sinner desperately in need', & The Riddler's address. 

We were just like missionaries, man.

Probably some of us liked the oral just as much or more than the missionary thing, but hey, different strokes, right?

*Didn't really happen at band camp. Surprise, surprise, Venom was more of a 'groupie' than a 'musician'.