Certainly an occasional restless night will give you an inkling; but can you imagine rising from your bed day after day, not because you are ready to greet the morn, but because you simply cannot lay there awake, tossing & turning, for another minute? It's almost a feeling of failure.
*ding, ding ding!* You've guessed it, I'm a chronic insomniac.
For many years I tried keeping to a regular schedule, but comforting sleep has always eluded me. I've always resisted sleep during the day, reasoning the price of the fitful night to follow not worth a little catnap.
Ironically, I am married to Rip Van Winkle.
I swear to Gawd the man is half feline; he will nap for as many as 5 or 6 hours a day. Every damn day, if given a chance. For this man, the mere act of blinking can induce hours of peaceful slumber. I cannot count the number of times over the years that I have had to wake him up to come to bed. Out of nothing more than sheer envy, I have more than once envisioned making his sleep a permanent condition.
The last few years I have had a prescription for sleeping pills; one pills is to make me feel sleepy and another pill is to keep me sleeping through the night. Oddly, I have resisted using them on a nightly basis; each time I visit the doctor I claim I don't need them every night.
I worry that I might become dependent on the pills.... which is only just fucking ridiculous! I will try to go without for 2 or 3 nights at a time, and have such wretched nights... then for 2 or 3 nights I will take them, sleep more or less through the night, and get out of bed a much sunnier person.
Well, fuck that shit.
Tonight I'm going to take those frigging pills and I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow night I'm going to take those frigging pills and I'm going to sleep. The night after that I'm going to take those frigging pills and I'm going to sleep.
And when I run out of those frigging pills I'm going to go to my doctor and admit that I do need them every gatdang night.
Have no fear, dear Venomites, I will not lose my edge just because I sleep better -- if anything I might be sharper.
Who knows, perhaps I've been letting shit slide because I'm too tired to care?
Probably not though. *wink*
Oh, I feel your pain and I understand the resistance in taking the friggin' pills. But your body needs sleep! Glad that you will be getting some decent sleep soon. :-)
ReplyDeleteI go through the SAME thing. I hate to take anything because of the "hangover" I have the next day so I lay in that stupid bed watching idiot late night t.v wondering if I could ever get away scott free for smothering a peacfully sleeping spouse by reason of insanity. Yesterday I was so tired after being up all the night before I was literally sick to my stomach and stupid. So dumb. Let me know if you figure something out.
ReplyDeleteTry a sleep therapist...they might give you some hints as to get a good nights sleep.
ReplyDeleteI am pre-menopausal. Sleep is a thing of the past. Night sweats are a thing of every night but hopefully freedom, hopefully, will be a thing of my future. Along with NO more f'ing visits by Aunt Flo.
ReplyDeleteMelatonin? Apparently it's not addicting. Tried it, didn't like it.
Back in the day they used to put brandy in our night time glass/bottle of milk.
You'd have to up your amounts slightly (smirk) and probably join AA but hey.. sleep would be yours to have.
Damn I'm brilliant.
Your last post was on May 10th. Are you still sleeping????
ReplyDeleteWolfie: I've decided I'm not too worried about becoming an addict anymore. Go figure.
ReplyDelete#1: You know, certain pills I've tried have given me that hangover feeling also, and others not at all. Dosage is also something I'm tweaking.
Coffey: I'm more into the instant gratification of the drugs. heh heh
Jamie: You ARE briliant! A LARGE dollop of irish cream in coffee makes me sleep, but I have to get up 5 times to pee!
Susan: Don't I wish! Be back soon! ;-)