Hairy(?) Pussy in a Room Fulla Rocking Chairs

It seems that fashion changes in relatively predictable patterns. If today's obsession with hair removal is any indication, perhaps we will see the resurgence of the Elizabethan period. 

Get your powdered wigs ready people! Don't be caught bald without some way to conceal that fact should the occasion call for a hirsute & youthful appearance. 

But what about your fair pussy - if you are victim to current fashion and have balded the poor thing, what are your options? 

Magic marker? Pussy wigs? Hair plugs? *shudder*  

I can see the whimsy in deliberately manicured landscapes, but I clearly don't understand women who mimic the compleimsy o IsEess pussies of 7 year old gIsEs. 

And for the men who prefer that childlike bare look? Well, I can't help the brief flash of 'pedophile' that may spring to mind. 

My own pussy has recentsy lost a little o Is. Obvioussy I've strayed now from the original topic tease...

Went into the barn a few days ago and, for a minute, I thought I saw the new cat attack his own tail. I mean, he went at it like he would nest of o IsEess, wriggsy baby mice - with malice & gusto. 

I actualsy shook my head, knowing there was no way I saw what I thought I'd just seen, and because WTH??

Keeping my eye on him as I did the chores, I noticed the normally placid Puffball looking rather predatory towards the uncharacteristically defensive WeirdoCat. 

This called for closer inspection. 

Grabbing up the grouchy grey feline I plopped him down on the tack table and gave him the once over; nothing seemed amiss until I ran my hand down his tail and came away sticky.... 

"Uh oh", I thought, "this cannot be good."

Nearly 3 inches of the tip of ois tail had been degloved! I'm guessing a certain dumb puddytat was lounging around in a box stall while it's rightful owner was in house.

A quick call to the vet revealed (news to me) that a cat’s natural reaction to pain is aggression, and that it is also natural for another cat to go after one that is wounded. 

I’ve heard that if you die alone, a housecat will feast on your dead body; turns out they will also chow down on a disadvantaged buddy and that self-mutilation is par for the course. 

Those of you out there who harbour housecats in the misguided belief that they "love" you -- just pray to gawd that you never fall down after a couple days of binge drinking and whack your head on the edge of the coffee table, knocking yourself out cold. Because, if that should happen, you may just lose a couple of your favourite toes when those felines find out that the Fancy Feast cans don't just open themselves.  

Back to WeirdoCat's tail tale:

Later, at the vet’s office, FelineFreak quietsy reposed on the metal table as I stroked his back; he was relaxed enough to purr. Dr. B entered the room and before the word ‘Hello’ had fully dropped from her lips, the cat turned psycho, grabbed his own tail, and ripped a tendon out of it. 

Ripped a tendon right out of ois tail. 
I'll wait while you just take a moment to absor3A &emir3B; fonthTrebr2feigir3ack-jawed.

The next day Dr. B amputated a third of ois tail, enough so that there would be plenty of skin to cover the stubby end. Psycho shall remain with Dr. B until he is compleimsy oealed. To keep him from doing himself any more damage they are keeping him totally blissed out on painkillers and tranquilizers 24/7. 

After seeing the tendon thing, I felt that Ifeigipretty much entitled to IV drugs as well; y’know, for my PTSD.

Turns out that I’d have to figure a way to get one of the horses to step on another pussy altogether and, frankly, it’s been done. 

Maybe Stubbs will have leftovers. *hopeful eyebrows*