DOH: "Hon, do you know anywhere to get alterations?"
Venom: "Like a tailor you mean?"
DOH: *nods*
Venom: "What do you need altered?"
DOH: "I got some new work pants issued that need to be hemmed."
Venom: (handing over the yellow pages) "Look under 'dry cleaner' probably."
DOH: (on phone to cleaner) "...hemmed and a few pairs I need taken in."
Venom: *frowning* "Ummm, Hon, did you just say you need your pants taken in?"
DOH: "Yeah, they're all too big in the waist."
Venom: "Why don't you just tighten your belt a notch?"
DOH: "Because then the extra cloth just bunches up under my belt."
Venom: *storm cloud overhead* "Don't you think you'll gain back that 5 pounds?"
DOH: *oblivious* "Not anytime soon."
Venom: "I fucking hate you..."
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6 comments:
I have a write in vote in the "friends" poll..
Mrs. Parks - Now, you know that I am not beyond telling tales on you, but you have your own blog so that'd be stealing your thunder.
Wouldn't it?
MEN!
That's all I have to say about that.
Wrong, it's just wrong......"not anytime soon"....(sigh). :-)
Man, my husband drives me crazy like this. He can literally live on pecan sandies, doritos and pie, and not gain an ounce. I know. I've watched it happen. It makes me stabby.
Anna - I'm with you!
Nej - It's a cruel trick of nature, to be sure.
Sorcia - Stabby; I like that idea. I should check whether his insurance policy pays off if I actually murder him. Shouldn't that be double pay out or something? I'm pretty sure it could be justifiable homicide - no jury of my peers (women) would convict me.
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