HBDC Virtual Roadtrip - The Interlake

Well, hallo there friends! I do hope your trip up from Oregon was a pleasant one. Did I hear a rumour that the bus toilet is out of order, along with the air conditioning? Honestly, I can't hardly believe VE would sabatoge the AC with a can of rotten sardines. Nor can I imagine him shoving those two whole double rolls of TP down the bus loo and then practically dying laughing at the thought of your discomfort...
Nope. No-siree-bob, I just can't see it.

I can see that you've been waiting here for me a spell today -- my apologies to you all but, here on the farm, downed fencelines won't wait for company. I see you've also helped yourself to lunch & beverages and chosen your rooms for the night. That's good actually because I don't need any beer anyways and DOH & I can always sleep in the garage as I see someone has already unpacked their dainties on our bed.

So anyhoos -- Welcome to Friendly Manitoba! It says 'friendly' right there on our license plates; it's like a law or something. If you get caught being unfriendly, I hear the government sends out a rep to cut off your eyelids and stake you out in the blazing sun over an anthill. So either be friendly while you're here, or don't say I didn't warn you.

This stop on the HBDC virtual tour we'll be poking around the Manitoba Interlake region a little bit -- ooh, I can see you're almost vibrating with excitement! You really don't get out much, do you? But let's just chat a bit first, shall we? The Interlake is a place of inland oceans and infinite possibilities; there is actually a sign on the east side of highway #9 that says just that, so you know it's the truth. Though I only moved to this province last year, I can vouch that the amount of rain that fell on this region over the rainy season (known elsewhere in Canada as 'summer') was easily enough to create new lakes out of many spaces that had formerly been called 'crop & pasture land', or 'front yards & driveways', or 'bridges & approaches'.

Lake Winnipeg, about 15 miles east of the homestead here, is more than 400 miles long from top to bottom and supports a roaring commercial fishing trade. Dang it all! I had a slide show all planned out, but wouldn't you know my luck, the damn projector's on the fritz. Don't worry though, DOH is working on it and promises we'll have plenty to see later on. If nothing else, my buddy Crabby Steve from down #7 is always good for a laugh. I can see you are all somewhat road weary - waddaya say to a little nap before supper? I thought so.

Well, when you wake up I'll have your lunch dishes done up & DOH'll have a whack of black angus steaks slathered in Red Bull BBQ on the grill. On the table will be big bowls of both tossed green & potato salads, plenty of more beer & coolers, plus veggie dogs for any non-meatitarians among you.

As dusk falls, one of the lovliest moments of a Manitoba day, we'll toss a match on that enormous pile of dry wood out back there and have us one hell of a bonfire.

Maybe we can convince Crabby Steve to play his guitar and we'll all sing 'Koombayah' or some such thing. Oh, who am I kidding? We'll probably all be so gotdang drunk by 9:30 tonight that no one will remember the words to 'Koombayah'.

Hell, we'll be lucky if Crabby Steve doesn't fall into the fire, roll back out, and not even notice the smell of his own burnt hair. Yep, everyday's a party with Crabby Steve around. But it's just not so easy as you might figure it'd be, giving rural directions to the first responder dispatch, I mean.

I'll be pounding on your doors first thing tomorrow; we've got a big day of Interlake sight-seeing ahead of us! Shower time will be strictly limited to 10 minutes per person -- some of you might want to clean up before you hit the sack so we're sure to have enough hot water. Please, whoever has all those scented candles, chocolate strawberries, & bubble bath lined up beside my jet tub? Just... keep the door locked. Please.

Waffles and white sauce (MB mennonite breakfast delite), bacon & eggs will be served from 7 until 8:15 am. There'll be plenty of hot coffee to go around, and a big old jug of Carolan's Irish Whickey for those that need a little hair of the dog. Or you can just lick the MightyHunterShepherdBitch if you'd rather.

The bus leaves tomorrow @ 9 am - sharp!